The Two Voices of Grey Area Drinking: The One That Shouts and the One That Knows

Grey area drinking is often misunderstood. A former grey area drinker myself, I had no rock bottom moment, no dramatic relationship falling apart or losing my job. But at the same time, I didn’t have a “take it or leave it” relationship with alcohol either.

One of the clearest signs you’re a grey area drinker is when you start to notice two competing voices inside you.

The Loud Voice: Familiar, Persuasive, and Persistent

Most people recognise this one instantly. It’s the voice that sounds comforting, reasonable, even caring:

“You’ve had such a long day, you deserve a wine.”
“Don’t overthink it. Everyone’s drinking tonight.”
“You can start on Monday”

This is what I call the alcohol voice, or as I used to call her, the Wine Witch!! What it really is, is a voice of habit, repetition and neural pathways that have been strengthened over years.

It’s loud because it’s familiar. It’s convincing because it’s practiced. And it’s persistent because it wants one thing: for nothing to change.

But familiar doesn’t equal wise.

And persuasive doesn’t equal true.

The Quiet Voice: Gentle, Honest, and Often Ignored

Alongside the noise, there’s usually another voice, softer, subtler, much easier to override.

It doesn’t bargain or rationalise.
It doesn’t shout.
It whispers.

“I don’t actually like how alcohol makes me feel.”
“I’m tired of the morning anxiety.”
“There’s a version of me that feels clearer than this.”
“I think my life could be better without drinking.”

This is the voice of intuition, your deeper knowing, your future self tugging at your sleeve. Ironically I drowned her out with a glass of wine

She might be quieter, yes, but she’s so much wiser.

And in grey area drinking, these two voices often collide. It’s creates cognitive disonance, or as it felt to me, like a mini war raging in my head.

One seemed to be pulling me back and the other nudging me forward.

Why This Inner Conflict Matters

Many grey area drinkers assume that if they were “really” struggling with alcohol, they’d know. They’d have a dramatic story or a clear moment of crisis.

But the truth is: Awareness often begins as a whisper, not a crash.

That quiet discomfort, the feeling that something isn’t quite right, that is the sign. That’s the moment where the knowing voice begins to wake up.

The conflict you feel isn’t a failure. It’s an awakening.

So Which Voice Do You Listen To?

Here’s the beautiful part:
You don’t need to silence the loud voice or obey the quiet one.
You simply need to notice them.

Awareness is transformative all on its own.

Start asking:
Which voice speaks first?
Which voice feels urgent?
Which voice feels honest?
Which voice feels like care, not fear?

In the End, The Quiet Voice Is Always On Your Side

It doesn’t rush you.
It doesn’t shame you.
It doesn’t demand perfection.

It simply guides you towards the life you’re craving, calmer mornings, clearer thinking, deeper self-trust, less shame.

You don’t need to have all the answers and you don’t need to quit drinking today.

You just need to start listening to the voice that has your best interests at heart.

And trust that it’s leading you somewhere better.